it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
