I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
