Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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