I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
