I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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