remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
