it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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