her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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