Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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