have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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