Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
