It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize