Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
