Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
