she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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