Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
