Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
