He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
