How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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