Me. At least after what I've been through.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Randomize
