My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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