dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I am naked and annoyed.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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