And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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