I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
