it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
