You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
