you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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