the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
