How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
