I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
