Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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