yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
