last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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