According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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