ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
