I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
