i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
