did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
