Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
