if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I am naked and annoyed.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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