Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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