You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
When are your genitals available?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
