69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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