Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
