The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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