first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
