Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
