I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
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