My nipple is on Facebook.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
