Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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