playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We talked him into tasing himself.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
